with radiation is not pleasant. To begin with I have these lead wires going up underneath my chin into my mouth. There is a ball of radiation (somewhat like an over size BB that has been planted in the base of my tongue someway. I don’t even want to know how. I am praying all of the while that it is securely attached someway and I am not going to swallow it.
Add the wires that are delivering the radiation to the right side and back of my tongue, then to top it off the guard that the dentist made which is protecting my teeth and jawbone and seems to be cutting my mouth to shreds. I am not exaggerating one bit when I say that the pain is excruciating.
One night I was just lying in my hospital bed punching the morphine pump and trying to think to say my prayers before I drifted off a bit. I couldn’t for the life of me think what I needed to pray about.
When you have radiation like I did your room is considered contaminated. There is a bag of protective footwear hanging on the outside door knob. As you go into the room there is a protective radiation guard that the nurses stay behind when they come in the room. You soon learn to separate the dedicated oncology nurses from the rest, The ‘rest’ tiptoe in your room and ask '” is there anything you need dear” and hurry out quickly before you get a chance to answer.
All trays, garbage, etc. pile up inside your room and even though the radiation aide declares they are safe to be moved they are still in the room when I leave a few days later. (More to follow.)
I hope this week is going well for you all. I am determined to feel better and I keep praying for that. Stay safe and be happy!!
Beth
Just got on my computer. Have read your blog from your room. I just bowed my head and prayed instant. You have alot of people praying for you. I wish I could be a little God sent angel and fly about in your room , hold you and comfort you and assist in your every need. My Lord says in his word. Pray without ceasing. That is what I am doing for you.
ReplyDeleteLove you from across the miles from Canaada.
God tells us to love.
Love believth all things, hopeth all things, edureth all things, love never fails.
So I am a follower like all the rest who is on your blog.
Believe me you are LOVED.
Hi Beth
ReplyDeletePlease God you will feel much better very soon. To have gone through all that and not feel better would be unthinkable.
You remain in prayers and thoughts
Love Nita
You have been through a real ordeal, Beth! I continue to send along my thoughts and prayers for your return to good health! xo Nellie
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine everything you've went through and are going through. This is a testament to your strength Beth. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I find you to be very very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteI pray so hard that this takes care of the problem and you heal quickly.
ReplyDeleteSis SPARKLE said it for us.. there are soooo many praying for your recovery. We hold you in our thoughts and prayers many times a day. Sending you healing prayers and a break from this horrible pain you have been having. You are cherish dear Beth and we want you healed permanently. Love ya..
ReplyDeleteXOXO
i cannot imagine how awful that must have been.
ReplyDeleteBeth - Sending you prayers and get well wishes.
ReplyDeleteJudy
You are thought of across the Pond Beth, sending healing prayers .
ReplyDeleteThinking of you
Hugs
Sheila
x
we are all rooting for you!! Keeping you in our prayers, I wish we could all get together and have a party when you are well!
ReplyDeleteWhat a bleak and dreadful experience Beth, I'm truly sorry for all you've had to endure. I do believe there's a light of grace that shines even in the deepest darkness...may you always find your way to this and certainly healing.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and positive energy to you Beth.
ReplyDeleteAll that garbage that piles up -- it isn't necessarily because people are afraid of it. It's because they're afraid of work. When we had a patient in isolation in the nursing home, the majority of the staff members would not deal with the garbage, just like they wouldn't rinse out bed pads coated with feces. I pray for good medical care for you, for improved health overall, and for an end to pain.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Oh Beth this is so hard to read it breaks my heart that you had to go through that but I am so glad it is over and you are healing. I do hope all your pain is bearable now and things continue to heal. Keep writing it has always helped me to write. I am so very happy you are doing well. Ensure is not that bad if you mix it with icecream in a blender I know my Mom likes it that way. I have been reading all your posts but there is much going in my life on it will get back to normal soon. Do know you are in my thoughts. HUGS HUGS B
ReplyDeleteOh Beth I am so sorry that you have to go through so much pain. It is hard to read about it, let alone to have to go through it. I pray that each day you are better and better.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your informative posts about your radiation. You are so strong! My eyes tear up reading about your ordeal. I am still praying for you daily. I am hoping you have help at home and are not alone through all of this.
ReplyDeleteTwin, we are your prayer warriors, Erich and I. And others are as well. You will get better. Love and prayer. xoxoxox
ReplyDeleteOh dear Beth, I'm so sorry you have had to go through all of this too. I am so happy you are writing about this. We need to know what it is really like and it will probably be good for you to write about it. I just feel so bad for you. You have been in my thoughts and prayers every day. I feel some of my prayers have been answered already as you are now home from the hospital and "coping" at least. I hope you are stronger each and every day and that the cancer is now gone forever. You are one very brave lady! Love, hugs and prayers......Mary
ReplyDeleteI echo what the others above are saying. I'm not clever enough to come up with a way to say the same thing with different words. You are a friend for many years now, dating back to the days of Spaces. I don't get many visitors but I can always count on you.
ReplyDeleteHang in there Beth. It will get better.
Oh Beth that sounds awful! Why in the world would they just leave garbage and trays in your room?! That is just wrong! Praying that this is all over soon and that you are 100 percent better.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joanne
Oh Beth that all is so hard. I am definitely praying.
ReplyDeleteBlessings.......
ReplyDeleteone day at a time dear, one day at a time, you are a strong woman. You will get through.
You have come through quite an ordeal. I admire your courage and positive outlook! God bless you with health and healing now and into the future. You remain in my prayers.
ReplyDeletePrayers continue for you, Beth. Be well soon. I hope you have some pretty flowers to view through your window, and pleasant weather. God bless you and keep you strong. Hugs! Bertie
ReplyDeleteWhat you wrote sounds horrific. I felt for you. Hope you soon feeling much improved.
ReplyDeleteOh, Beth- I wish I could hug you and make it all go away. The sad thing is that the older we get the more alone we feel when things like this happen to us. Even when we have family around to support us we must each navigate our own way through medical procedures. Some days we ask God, why me? Other days we say- I'm glad it's me and not my kids-or my grandkids. I am keeping you close in my prayers, Beth. You can do this. You are a survivor and haven't come this far to let cancer beat you! Much love to you- Diana
ReplyDeleteOh Beth what an ordeal you are having to go through. The pain must just make it unbearable sometimes. Keep your faith and I will keep praying for you. Hugs Carrie
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful that is behind you now. I hope you are feeling better, and recovering well. HUGS.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts when they put those things in your mouth for you to bite down on while they do xrays! I can imagine that had to be excruciating! At least you don't have to go through that again. Rest and spoil yourself silly!!
ReplyDeletePrayers and hugs!!
I hope that all of this is over pretty soon and you get to come home. My family's and my prayers are with you. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteHello Beth, I am a blogging friend of Diana's (NanaDiana). I am sorry to hear about the terrible ordeal you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you too. You sound like you have a very positive outlook, and that is half the battle won.
ReplyDeleteHi Beth, I am friends with Diana(Nana Diana). I have been praying for you and will continue to pray for you. One of my good personal friends just went through cancer treatments and surgery. There is hope and we keep praying for all the people to find that miracle they need at a time when they are suffering. I just want you to know that you are in my heart and prayers every day along with praying that my hubby will walk again. Many hugs and prayers coming from a Missouri Friend.
ReplyDeleteHi Beth, Nana Diana has written a post telling us what you are going through.
ReplyDeletePlease know that bloggers are caring, and supportive people who are all thinking, and praying for you, and wishing you the very best.
Jen
I'm hoping and praying that this ordeal will be over soon for you!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you are better soon.
ReplyDeleteBeth Marie, my prayers are with you! (Visiting from Diana's)
ReplyDeleteSusan
Hugs and prayers coming your way! I'm praying this will be over soon and you will be on the road to better health quickly! I came over from Diana's today, when I read her post.
ReplyDeleteSending up prayers for quick and complete healing!
ReplyDeleteBeth
ReplyDeleteI am coming over from Diana's to let you know I am praying for you.
Sending prayers your way. I hope you will soon be well.
ReplyDeleteDear Beth,
ReplyDeleteYou are xoming home and you are better now it will get bac to nomal soon.